This is a PSA to ANY of my followers.













(via ch3m1cals)



this kinda sums up tumblr for me



Oh hey, what are ya’ reading there?

The only time it’s not annoying to have someone reading over your shoulder.



There’s two types of anger one is dry and the other wet and basically wet anger is when your eyes water and your voice shakes and I hate that cause I feel weak when I’m crying while angry I like dry anger when your face is like stone and your voice is sharp I guess wet anger shows that you care too much and dry anger means you’re done.

This is the best description ever

(via unforcedminds)




How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Reblogging because there are some sassy little shits out there.

This makes me laugh every time, so I’m reblogging just to try and make others laugh
I hope you kiss me really hard when I see you.
(via rlyrlyugly)

(Source: we-should-fuck-now-that-i, via aietala)

Anonymous said: What do you want?



Ha, what do I want. That’s the first time i’ve been asked that question by anyone in months. You wanna know what i want? I want a text saying “hey, i’m coming over tonight and we’re gonna have a great night” from anyone, literally anyone. I want a hug, i literally don’t remember the last time i’ve gotten a hug. Not one of those friend hugs you give when you see a friend. I mean a hug that you feel embraced and you’re in someones arms and you can feel someone actually giving a shit about you. I want that kind of hug. I want to be driving around at 2am showing someone my favorite places, holding their hand. I want to take someone to my favorite river and cliff diving spots here in Lancaster and have the best day of my life, crack a few beers, take some cool pictures, get kissed. I want a fucking mother fucking goddamn kiss. I want to be kissed. I want to feel what its like getting kissed again for the first time. Probably so many butterflies. I want a text at 3am saying, i really care about you and i’d do anything to show you how much i care, what can i do? And then have them in my driveway shortly after. I want to feel wanted again, i dont think i’ve felt wanted in almost 9 months. Maybe more. I want to be taken out on a date. A proper, dress nice, someone opens the car door for me, date. I’ve never been on a proper date. I want someone who i miss so much when im not around them, or someone i want to see so badly that i drive to them in the middle of the night just to kiss them. We all know i’ve done it before… i’m infamous for driving 3 hours to see someone for 5 minutes. I want that.

I want to feel wanted and loved and cared about and i’m a needy piece of shit but what can i say. That’s what i want.

fucking this


Mango and passion fruit in romaine lettuce.

selfie alert😎